When I couldn’t find one I realized that they wanted me to leave my trash on the table and someone would take care of it for me. The very next thought I had, as I looked at my chopsticks was, “My DNA is on those chopsticks. I’m not sure I want just anyone having access to that – especially if they ever start trying to clone people.”

I almost laughed out loud! Did I really just think that? That’s silly! It’s a good thing that there is a ton of basketball on this week. It may be time for a break.

On a related note, I just discovered thehobbitblog.com. It’s the official production blog for the two-part screen adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit that just began filming. Check it out. It is completely safe and I don’t think Orcs would have any use for DNA.

The bread and the cup, the body and the blood

Last night I went to the Good Friday service at our church. I probably wouldn’t have gone if one of my responsibilities as a newly appointed elder wasn’t to serve communion at the service. I would likely have stayed home with my wife and sleeping daughter.

I’ve served communion in different settings before so I wasn’t really thinking too much about it. The service itself was enjoyable – a little more forward-looking than I’m used to from a Good Friday service, but refreshingly so. Anyway, we observed communion differently last night than we usually do. Normally we pass silver trays filled with bits of bread or little cups of grape juice down each row until everyone has the element and then we partake together. Last night, we had two elders at the head of each isle – one with a loaf of bread and one with a cup of juice – and had people come up individually and take the bread and dip it into the juice and then eat. (As an aside, I learned a few weeks ago that the technical term for this method is intinction, which means “to dip into” in Latin.)

As I served the cup to people, I was to say, “The blood of Christ, shed for you” to each person as they partook. The sanctuary holds roughly 320 people, so I knew I was in for saying that phrase roughly 150 times. About ten people in, I realized that I didn’t want to just repeat the words like a mantra so I started to make a point of looking at each person as they came up. As I spoke the words to each person, I started to have a sense that what I was offering them in the cup and the words that went with it was very personal.

Then, a couple of minutes later, people I knew started coming through the line. As I looked them in the eye and spoke of what Christ had done for each of them, I was nearly overwhelmed. I could barely hold back tears. It hit me in a fresh way that Christ’s sacrifice wasn’t only for a group of people (those who call themselves His followers though faith) but for individual people, for my friends, and consequently for me. Eventually, I noticed that people were responding to my looking at them as I spoke. Some paused and waited for me to finish before they dipped their bread. Others actually spoke back saying things like, “thank you,” – some even using my name. Still others stood in silence as I spoke but I could tell that they were experiencing some internal emotion as well. It was very moving.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a communion experience that was that personal or intimate. I realized at one point what an honor it was to offer such good news to people. I could have stood there all night saying the same glorious words over and over. I was actually a little disappointed when it was over. I know that not all communion experiences will be like that, but it was really refreshing to connect anew with the wonder of what Jesus did on the cross for me, for my friends and, if you embrace Him by faith, for you too.

The Betrayal of Jesus

I’ve been meaning to read part of the Easter narrative all week and finally got around to it today. I was intending to read the entire thing but got stopped short before Jesus’ arrest. Two things struck me as I read and both have to do with Jesus’ kindness. The first is how gracious Jesus was towards His disciples and how much He trusted the Father for their growth even when they let Him down. In Matthew 6:31-35, Jesus predicts Peter’s denial of Him and His desertion by the rest of His followers. Mildly offended (maybe more) Peter pronounces that he would die with Jesus before he would deny Him and the others heartily add their, “me too!” But a short time later, we find these same gung-ho disciples asleep in the garden of Gethsemane when they should be praying as Jesus had asked them to. It is so humbling to think that not only would Jesus die willingly for these sleepy followers of His, but He would actually turn over leadership of His kingdom on earth to them. If He is that kind and patient with His disciples, then there is great hope that He can use even the likes of me (and you) in building His kingdom.

The second thing that struck me was not entirely new (see previous post) but hit me afresh today. When Judas arrives to betray Him, Jesus says, “Friend, do what you have come to do.” In an amazing act of kindness, Jesus calls Judas His friend. When I read this previously, I was reminded that only a friend or ally can betray someone. Today, I realized that, even knowing how Judas would treat Him, Jesus offered him genuine friendship. If Jesus can do that for the one who would ultimately betray Him, then surely He is serious when He tells His followers (and presumably us), “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15) I often find it hard to receive Jesus love for me because I am usually fairly aware of my own sin and short-comings. But in calling Judas His friend, Jesus reminds me that (because of His work at the cross) He still considers me His friend despite my laziness or unfaithfulness to Him. And as usual, His kindness leads to repentance. I really want to be less like the sleepy disciples and more like Jesus. His words to Judas give me hope that, even if my transformation takes a long time, Jesus is patient with me and still calls me friend.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

But as the conversation progressed, I realized that she was doing the same thing. There was very little actual conversation going on. It was mostly a series of statements by one person followed by somewhat related statements by the other person. It was really painful to listen to. A part of me can’t imagine that there will be a second date for those two, but if most of their interactions are like that, I suppose there probably will be.

I kept thinking as I listened that if just one of them would ask the other a question it would change everything. They might begin to learn something about each other. They might actually connect on a deeper level than just what kind of computers they used and how much they saw people drink before the basketball game last weekend. They might even learn enough to know whether or not they wanted to have another date.

It made me wonder if they even knew how to be curious about another person. I know that I’m not always the most curious person about others and I have to work at it at times, but I also know how rewarding it is when I do. It also reminded me why J and I want to do the kind of work that we have been trained for. We want others to learn how to connect deeply with one another and God. And, if nothing else, have more enjoyable dates.

A life-friend was in town this weekend to celebrate his 40th birthday and a group of us had dinner together followed by a couple hours of four-person Halo. Yes, a bunch of 40-year-olds were playing Halo (not very well, I should add) until 11:00pm on a Friday night. It felt like I was 30 again. Endless thanks to my wonderful wife and my friends’ wives for making it happen.

Grenade launcher

Saturday morning I spent time with a really good buddy and our daughters, drinking coffee, talking about life and God and generally catching up. He lives in town but we hadn’t really seen each other for four weeks, which was entirely too long. We are both in similar stages of life (despite a 12-year age difference), work transition, lack of community and a desire to serve God by serving others. The time together was refreshing for the soul.

Later that afternoon, J and I caught up with my birthday friend and his family and again, it was a life-giving time. We have both learned some lessons about loneliness in ministry in the past year and it was comforting to know that we weren’t alone in those lessons. It would take very little to convince me to work with him again if the opportunity presented itself.

Saturday night, I watched my alma mater win a very tight overtime game against their in-state rival. Despite the nervous stomach I had most of the game, it was great to watch. Knowing that they can handle close situations like that means that National Championship hopes are still alive.

Sunday after church J, C and I had lunch with the same friend and his family at one of our favorite restaurants. C was a little grumpy and I’m not sure J ate all that much, but I was still very encouraged. We haven’t been out to eat much with C (at least not the sit-down kind) lately as she has gotten more active, so it was nice to be able to do that again – even if it took a little work.

To top it off, the sun was shining most of the weekend. The older I get, the more convinced I am that I suffer from a mild form of Seasonal Affective Disorder and it has been gray way too much lately. The sunshine and resultant vitamin D in my system was a welcome reprieve and reminded me that spring will come eventually.

Times like this past weekend are times that I really want to remember better than I do. I am convinced that God gives us tastes of eternity more often than we are aware of and that we do a pretty terrible job of remembering them in the midst of our daily struggles. My prayer is that I would remember these expressions of His kindness and blessing to me and my family for more than just a day or two and that I would be moved to continue to offer myself as a blessing to others. Thanks, Lord.

Sweet Potato Face

We started trying to get her to eat cereal back in November and she would have none of it. Spit it out every time. A few weeks later we tried some apple sauce which went marginally better. Earlier this month we actually bought baby food for the first time. We got a little bit of every fruit and vegetable that they had and started trying them. Initially, she wasn’t sure what to do but last week she started acting more interested and began getting the whole swallowing thing down.

So far, she seems to like apples, peas, bananas (temporarily out of the rotation due to constipation issues) and especially green beans and sweet potatoes. As you can see from the photo, not all of the food makes it into her mouth and we usually find ourselves wiping her face again hours later when we discover a new patch of something under her nose. We bought a strap-on high chair today to make the feedings easier for her. It has been pretty fun watching her grow and develop in this area. I’m glad she seems to like all of the foods we’ve tried so far. And I have to say that this daddy is very proud of his little food-tasting girl.

We have also started putting her in her Bumbo chair (which she previously couldn’t sit in) and feeding her some baby food and some sweet potato puffs for a bit each day. It seems like she is starting to get swallowing down pretty well and even took a try at a sippy cup today. Who knows what’s next?! She also started grabbing the puffs today and tried to get them in her mouth. She averaged about one in five, but a couple got there. The rest either ended up on the floor or stuck to her sleeve, hand or face. It was pretty funny, but it was also one of those proud father moments. I was really excited for her.

As I speak, she is asleep in her crib for her early afternoon nap. It took about 15 minutes, but she put herself to sleep. So J is laying down for a bit as well. If this takes, it could usher in a whole new era of restedness for J.

Oh, and it is snowing again.

12" PowerBook G4

This week was a momentous one for me computer-wise.  After nearly four years, I’ve retired my venerable 12″ PowerBook G4.  During its term of service it saw two full operating system releases and at least that many releases of MS Office.  It was the most rugged laptop I’ve ever owned and never failed to perform for me.  I bought it almost a year after that model came out, so the technology is almost five years old.  And yet, it took that long for it to feel like it was lagging behind or running slow.  I was actually sentimental about saying good-bye to it.  None of my Macs have ever had serious problems, but this one was the most problem-free of the seven (make that eight) so far.  It is currently listed on eBay and I hope it goes to a good home.

13" Aluminum MacBook

Its replacement is a 13″ aluminum unibody MacBook.  So far, I’m really enjoying it.  Upgrades like a fast, dual-core Intel processor, 2 Gigs of RAM, an iSight camera, superdrive, a super-bright LED widescreen display and a multi-touch trackpad are all really nice.  The unibody construction gives it a very solid feel even though it seems lighter than the old 12″ PB.  I’m sure I’ll miss the firewire port at some point, but I haven’t yet.  And I’m a little miffed that Apple won’t let the non-Pro MacBooks boot in 64-bit mode in Snow Leopard, but that’s just the nerd in me talking.  Overall, I’m very pleased with the new computer.  Still, I’m going to miss old faithful.  May it bring someone else many more years of productive use.

So a couple of weeks after getting my new glasses I started to notice a low-level anger in my heart. I was getting snappy with J more than normal and was just generally grumpy. After a few days of reflecting on it, I realized that I was mad that no one had noticed that I had gotten new glasses. My first thought was, “well that seems sort of petty, doesn’t it?”

So I sat with that idea for a few days and came to a deeper realization. The reason I was mad and upset was that I am not around any group of people regularly enough for them to notice that I had new glasses. In the past, my work has been a part of a team of people that I spent time around almost daily. It was the kind environment that felt like extended family.

But my current work has me largely working alone in my office either reading or writing on the computer. I know that when class teaching starts that will change some, but it still feels like I’m pretty alone in my work. For those of you who know me, you might think, “hey, he is an introvert so why is working alone such a problem?” Well, I’ve known for some time that I’m more of a “social introvert”. I may get refreshment from solitude, but I need a certain amount of people in my life to feel whole.

Over the summer I took the Strengths Finder test and discovered that my number one strength is called Connectivity. In a nutshell it means that more than anything I want to do work that I really believe in with people that I really like. That, as they say, might explain a few things. I know that this year of work is only a “season” and won’t last forever. But it does make me wonder how long I can do what I’m doing if it doesn’t involve other people on a regular basis.

In the mean time, I realize that I need to take the initiative to have people in my life more often. So if I ask you to have lunch with me on a regular basis, don’t be too surprised.