New address and life update

Welcome to the relaunched version of my blog. It’s been a while since I last wrote but a lot has happened in that time span.

Me and Chloe

The most significant thing of course is that I became a father to a wonderful little girl named Chloe. J gave birth in June (Father’s Day to be exact) and life has been very different for us ever since. We love our little girl more than we imagined was possible. But parenting may be the most difficult thing we’ve ever undertaken.

I’m sure that all the other parents reading this will think I’m just whining, but I think J and I have a situation that is exceptional among our friends and peers. Both of us were single for many years before we got married. I specifically was 38 at the time. That’s a lot of years spent only having to think about yourself and it afforded a lot of freedom. Adjusting to marriage didn’t seem as difficult to us as we thought it would. In many ways, learning to live with another person who is totally capable of taking care of their self was fairly easy. After so many years of singleness, we had each had to work through issues of self-worth and identity apart from a relationship to another person. So we felt like fairly whole people when we married and weren’t looking for the other person to meet some serious need.

But a baby is an entirely different story. She needs us to meet needs she has that sometimes we aren’t even aware of. And it can be exhausting – both physically and emotionally. This week Chloe has been extra grumpy (possibly a three-month growth spurt a little early) and has even had her first few “meltdowns” (periods of serious crying). Up until now, she has been a really easy baby with minimal fussiness. But the last two days have been really different. It has been especially stressful on J. She has been completely drained emotionally and physically by the end of the day. I’ve never seen her so stressed. The crying is like fingernails on a chalkboard to her and pushes her buttons faster than anything I’ve ever seen.

As a work-at-home dad, I’m glad I can be here to help out, but it ends up draining me too. And J feels terrible that helping her takes me away from work at times – despite my assurances that I don’t mind helping. The tiredness level isn’t quite to the point of where it was the first few weeks home from the hospital, but I haven’t been this tired in a while. There have been situations in the last few days where I’ve been very aware that, at that moment, I’ve been living very much like Jesus. And there have been other situations where I’ve been aware that I’ve been a complete…well, let’s just say not very much like Jesus. I so want to meet Jesus in these challenging moments and help our little family trust Him with our circumstances. But often I feel a little over my head. If you are the type that is inclined towards praying, we would appreciate it. Maybe something along the Psalm 23 lines.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Amber P on September 16, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    A crying baby….After experiencing it myself, my heart goes out to both you and J. I will definitely keep you in my prayers.

    Reply

  2. So glad you are blogging again! Give my love to Jenni!
    ~Dee Anne

    Reply

  3. Posted by Ryan on September 16, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    Hey dude. Sorry things have been so rough lately. I miss you guys. Maybe we can talk sometime soon. Say hi to J and C for me (and Charlie and Nigel too)!

    Reply

  4. Posted by Gail on September 16, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    Hang in there, Brent–you’re a great dad and husband–so glad Chloe and Jenni have you in their lives!

    Reply

  5. Posted by Darrin on September 17, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    Brent, at each step along the way, it is natural to look forward to your child being able to do this thing, not needing help with that thing. Having made it through four infants, I can tell you the most important thing is to enjoy Today. Enjoy the fact that she needs YOU, that God chose you to be her father, that you’re the one who gets to feed or comfort her. Easy to say, harder to do. Kelly and I are saddened by the fact that we won’t have any more babies and that sometimes we wished time away. They grow up way too fast to do that!!!! Plus, PMS will be coming in about 12 years or so, so enjoy the absence of that while you can. (She’ll start getting phone calls from boys even earlier than that.)

    Reply

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